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jpnvines:

Twitterもやってるよ。@nemaoffice 〜 根間タダシ

I’m on twitter as well. @nemaoffice 〜 根間タダシ

(Source: vine.co)

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cuntsman-sniper:

teddytrumpet:

septetteforaspookyprincess:

when you accidentally step on a bee

image

Omfg

i don’t speak musician somebody translate this please

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synchronizedlameness:

guys, you know what this means??

google drive

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carrotcatmd:

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

Do you have anything else?’ 

Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
Me: ‘Why not?’ 
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
Me: ‘No.’ 
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah.’


Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
Me: ‘Why?’ 
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

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raptor-rider:

ayla-kurone:

nanibgal:

piezeth:

angryteenagebear:

"video games would be better off without Nintendo"

…the video gaming industry wouldn’t be half of what it is now without Nintendo.

Nintendo literally saved the gaming industry’s ass on several occasions you asswipe

#SAYING NINTENDO SHOULD NINTENGO IS A NINTENDNO

YOU SAID IT, NINTENBRO

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GONNA MAKE PUNS PLEASE NINTENDONT

IM SORRY WE DID NOT NINTEND TO MAKE YOUR LIFE DIFFICULT

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hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

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iamcamdon:

speckster:

reptilereasons:

this period of the simpsons where homer is pretty clueless but still tries hard to be a good father because he does love his kids is my favourite, so many feelings

image

GROSS SOBBING

Something I really really liked about a few of the Homer/Lisa episodes in the earlier seasons of the show was how it paints a really sweet yet unconventional father/daughter relationship, basically in the way that Homer is a parental force to Lisa, so too is Lisa a parental force to Homer. 

It’s really highlighted in one particular scene in the “future” episode “Lisa’s Wedding”, where Homer has a nice conversation with her just before her wedding.

Homer: Little Lisa, Lisa Simpson.  You know, I always felt you were the best thing my name ever got attached to. Since the time you learned to pin your own diapers, you've been smarter than me.
 Lisa: Oh, Dad --
Homer: No, no, let me finish.  I just want you to know I've always been proud of you.  You're my greatest accomplishment and you did it all yourself.  You helped me understand my own wife better and taught me to be a better person, but you're also my daughter, and I don't think anybody could have had a better daughter than you--
 Lisa: Dad, you're babbling.
Homer: See?  You're still helping me.


(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours)

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fuckyeah-nerdery:

thescienceofjohnlock:

sherlocksaysjawn:

kriskenshin:

imalloutofmilk:

Definition of College life.

I thought that was Spock

Even Spock can’t handle this illogical shit

I saw Spock too

Kirk: “Is he dead, Bones?”

McCoy: “No, but with all that student debt he’ll owe, he may as well be.”

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iwilleatyourenglish:

drst:

kickassfanfic:

kuklarusskaya:

proudblackconservative:

redbloodedamerica:

…and it’s true too.

I just always reblog this story too. Because it’s awesome. And because obviously Boggs is the kind of person that should be well known, and become a role model. (And Chris Garcia, Boggs’s friend who rode as well!) 

Also, I wanted to note that there’s a scholarship fund for the two boys set up. You can donate here!: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/reward-the-heroes-scholarship-fund-temar-boggs-and-chris-garcia

Reblogging for scholarship information

The scholarship fund is currently at $15k, but we know that even now that’s a pittance compared to the actual cost of higher ed. And it doesn’t look like costs are going to be coming down, unfortunately.

Please donate if you can, and signal boost the heck outta this.

Always reblog because someday I hope the first thing I think when we see a photo of a young black man is something like this, not “criminal” or “murdered by police.”

Also Tumblr, if we can raise money for people’s medical bills and sick cats and so on, surely we can send these two young men to college?

THESE GUYS ARE SO SO RAD

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vatican-cameos-sweetie:

piratesofthecaribbean:

Fun fact: This is Orlando’s legit impression of Johnny; it wasn’t originally scripted.

Was there even a script for this film. Every time I see a post about PotC they are like ‘this wasn’t scripted’

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